October's Blog of the Month

Every month I will be bringing you a new blog post that I find amazing and full of AWESOMNISITY, will it be you? Who knows? I do and I can assure you it might be.

For my premier I give you the gift of hilarity. Absolutely Narcissism is written by a wonderful blogger in Canada. She write her blog as well and also guest stars at THE POWDER ROOM, which is where you can find this and other insightful and funny posts from her.This chick is really pretty great. She is a mother of four kids (although by her picture you would never be able to guess that), who is currently studying to be a nurse as well a body builder...duh!! Not the scary type though, the still rather attractive "physically fit" ones. She also has a strong love of Velcro.....

That being said...

 Here is her story about her son's Nostradamus/ Hypochondriac like qualities entitled

The end of the world and other bedtime stories

Recently, my 7-year-old has developed a fear.He fears the world is going to end.No. Not a funny thought.The worst part, though, is that he expands on his theories right at bedtime, at the exact moment I'm saying "goodnight" to him.He's already predicted his death via tsunami (we live in the middle of Canada)......Lightning hitting the house (our house is grounded)......Hurricane washing us away (again, middle of Canada - no oceans anywhere near us)......Tornado tearing the house apart (possible, but not likely since our temperatures are below 35 degrees Celsius for 9 months of the year)......Hypothermia (possible, but again, subzero temps for more than half the year make this way of dying unlikely, although not altogether unappealing)......Hypothermia (most likely, but I promised him that I'll always keep an extra pair of mittens in the front hall closet, in case of emergency)......And pandemic outbreak, which, before the previews for the new movie Contagion, the kid had not yet thought of...So thank you very much fucking Hollywood.So the other night, he says, "Mom, is there lava underneath where we live?""No. There are no volcanoes around here.""Not from a volcano. Under the ground.""No. No lava under the ground.""I thought there was?""There isn't.""But deep in the ground," he persists. "There's lava.""No, there is not."...But then I pause to think...The little Nostradamus is right.According to Wikipedia, where I get all my up-to-date information, the earth's core may have a temperature similar to that of the sun's.Well I'll be...OK, so I have to relay this information truthfully, accurately, and in such a way that I know he won't be crawling into my bed tonight looking for comfort as the world ends."You're right," I say. "The earth's core is very hot. But the earth is like a big beach ball. And the center is very far down.""A-ha! Now I know how the world is going to end!""No-no, I just explained that..."Cutting me off, he says, "The molten lava...""I never said anything about molten lava...""...is going to seep up through the ground, into our plumbing, and fill our houses up. We're all going to burn to death in our sleep."And mini Harold Camping is relieved that he's finally solved the puzzle.Sure, he's still afraid, but at least now he's scared shitless AND feels vindicated.Glad I could be of assistance.I really don't know why I ever doubt my skills as an outstanding parent. by Narcissism Uncut September 09, 2011 - 6:03 AM