So, a few weekends ago I took
Anya's car to get the oil changed and while I was waiting I decided to go into what used to be a Borders book store. Technically it's still a Borders, but since "video killed the radio star" in a sense (video = the kindle, nook, smart phones, blogs..... wait was that suicide?.. and radio = books, conversation, and human interaction) the store was on it's last leg. There might have been about 15 shelves of books left in the joint, overall the store was like Mother Hubbard's cupboards (bare...read a book dammit!). Anyways, while I was in there I started to notice some of the books that were still on the shelf. The covers lead to some thoughts about what might be inside (because who reads books? lol!!!! Sorry to my friends at
A Beer for the Shower....shameless joke at education's expense). These are some of those covers....plus....what was going on in my head...ENJOY!!!!
Let's start off light....
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| Short, sweet, and to the point...plus it's got a jackelope. This is truly a rare find! |
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| Cause you can't spell "Success" without "C"'s, so I guess they are on the right track. |
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| Somehow I think this is the textbook for the "C" students "success". |
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| Most of the people that already know this stuff are probably way too high to read this....and hungry. |
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| This is probably what our future will say about us because of those "C" students. |
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| AWWWWW SHIT LET'S MAKE SOME BABIES!!! SOME BUTTERY SAUSAGE TASTING BABIES!!! Hell they already have the same last name. |
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| I honestly thought that cushion was part of her stomach. Is it possible that she is the buttery baby of Jimmy (the Sausage King) Dean and Paula (Mrs. Butterworth) Deen? |
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| This must be what Monique eats before bedtime....too mean? |
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| Ahh yes, the science of racism. |
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| I'm not touching this one...besides it's pretty obvious....and no not all of them, but I've met my share! |
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| If more women studied this.... |
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| They might not need this (horrible i know but it was right frickin there!). |
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| Olympic sized pools...those are for schmucks! This guys got an ocean! Beat that hot shot! |
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| This must be the Bible for dorks from the 80's that love mullets and have extra rubber bands and paperclips lying about. |
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So...what you're telling me is that you wrote a book that is about other books? This is why we have no trees and why digital books are winning the war ( I say that, but I have been known to read a digital book or two. Primarily because books cost too much if they're not on sale and you can find almost anything for free on the internets). Congrats, you have just won the "Biggest waste of Paper" award!
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To be continued......
Editor & Chief of The Penguin Gazette,
Rudy
I honestly laughed at the Monique comment hahahaha
ReplyDeleteAlso, i thought that judging by the cover is the only way to judge a book, how am i supposed to get attracted to a book if it doesn't have funny photos on it's cover?
There is an amazing amount of junk out there. And somehow, someway, an editorial group of people thought "yes, let's spend money on THAT"; which is what surprises me most.
ReplyDeleteI miss Borders.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, the MacGyver book is only a penny on Amazon.
You know, people say you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but, in all honesty, you should. Good books look good. Bad ones don't.
ReplyDeleteAll this crap-o-la, and yet I still can't seem to be able to sell a novel. Even though Tyra Banks can. Le sigh. Back to the drawing board. Re your comment, we do have a twitter page @ABeer4TheShower, but have yet to make a our first post. Our old twitter page, which is littered with zombie jokes is @zombiehandbook, and we haven't been there in a long time. Someday!
ReplyDelete