“How May I Serve You....Or Not?”

                In last week’s entry I spoke briefly about an India Arie concert that my wife and I attended at a local San Diego concert/dinner venue named Anthology’s. While the concert was pretty great (India doesn’t disappoint) the service at this place was atrocious!!!! The wait staff was completely inattentive and quite a bit snooty, which is leading me to write this entry about my experiences at this and other restaurants. I’m sure everyone that has either been to a restaurant or worked in the food service industry will find something to either agree or disagree with.

                Let me start off by saying that I have a lot of respect for waiters, bussers, hosts/hostesses and anyone that has contact with my food and has to put up with dozens even hundreds of people a day for minimum wage and tips. That being said there just a few problems I’ve noticed the last few times I’ve been served. The first and probably my biggest pet peeve about servers is their lack of attention to those who don’t drink. I understand that a lot of revenue and tips come from the drinkers, but those of us that don’t drink can tip just as heavily. Not only that but we stay coherent and remember the waiters that snub us because we are not getting sloppy-ass drunk and giving them hope of emptying our wallets when it comes to tip time. If they (servers) would treat us (non-drinkers) equally I think that the tips would be bigger and the customers would be happier. My personal experience with this was at Anthology’s. 

My wife and I were seated first and I personally watched our waiter walk past us at least 4 times before the next groups were seated. When our waiter came to us to tell us about the menu (briefly) he asked us about drinks. Before we had the chance to tell him what we wanted he started to tell us about the wine selection (which I know is a standard practice) but when my wife interjected and told him that we weren’t drinkers his face changed. That’s when I had my “oh shit!!” moment. It’s kind of like the “Ah Ha” moment but for bad stuff.  I knew that from that point on that we would get little to no service. Unfortunately I was exactly right, when he went to the next group they ordered a bunch of drinks and the waiter’s face lit up big time. They had their drinks almost a solid ten minutes before we had ours and during those ten minutes they were well into getting their food order taken. When we finally got our drinks (that a busser brought not our waiter) I was livid but I know the golden rule of restaurants…. The customers are always right, but NEVER PISS OFF YOUR SERVERS!!!! This rule and only this rule kept me from saying something to the server. 

I would say that probably another 10 minutes went by before he came back to us to find out what we wanted to order. The 10 minutes passed with both my wife and I trying to get the waiter’s attention so we could get refills and so we could order our food. When I finally tapped him on his shoulder (I hate putting my hands on people because I hate when people put their hands on me, so I was very uncomfortable with that) he shot me this real snotty look as though I was scum. So with an air of “you peasant, how dare you” he took our orders.  This "Holier Than Thou" attitude is another thing I can’t stand. Those of you in the “biz” please excuse me for this, but no matter what type of restaurant you work in, if you are a waiter, that is what you are….A WAITER!!! Now I know I may have just sealed my fate at whatever place I choose to eat at from now on, but it had to be said. Just because you work a 5 star place doesn’t mean that you can treat customers like you are better than they are! You have to remember this…you are working where people come to relax. In other words you are here to serve us and make our experience as amazing as you possibly can. It’s not the other way around, and if you think it should be you are severely mistaken. I’m not saying this to be an ass, but if you go to a restaurant as a server, you know how you would do things but you also know as a customer how you want to be treated. After I worked in that world for a bit I got a pretty good appreciation of both sides of the coin. I truly understand how people can get under your skin when they become finicky, winey, complaining “customers” but they are the ones that are keeping you alive in a sense.

 By that I mean the better you are at your job the better the tip you get at the end. This leads me to my next peeve…TIPPING. I’m not against tipping, just the act of mandatory tipping. Why is it that they automatically add gratuity to parties over 6? Sometimes I think it’s because the server can’t handle the party and since their lack of ability won’t EARN them a tip, the restaurant sees it fit to reward their mediocrity with my money. Don’t get me wrong if the server was on their shit I would be tossing money at them (in a non stripper kind of way) in bunches. Do you remember that busser I briefly mentioned above? He got the tip that would have gone to the waiter, and I made damn sure that the waiter saw me hand it to him before I told the busser that he was 10 times more attentive than our so called waiter (after all the busser was the one bringing us our food and drink refills the whole night). As a matter of fact I can’t remember the last time I had really good service and a large group of friends at an eating establishment.  I understand that our group is not the only table they are serving but when the server comes to a table once then not again for 20 minutes at a time it’s ridiculous! That’s why they section rooms off for servers so they don’t have an overloaded work zone.

 I HAVE been to a few restaurants in town where the service has been INCREDIBLE. I call these the “EXCEPTIONALS”. Not only do they serve some of the most amazing food, but the servers are out of this world. My “EXCEPTIONALS” are the prime example server greatness, and not all of them work at 5 star restaurants. That being said every time I’ve eaten at their places (ranging from chains like Tio Leo’s and Ruth Chris Steak House to specialized cuisine spots like Park House Eatery and Mr. A’s) I have been wowed at the level of service I received. They are courteous, attentive without being annoying, very knowledgeable about the foods they serve, and above all else they are very well versed in the art of seduction. Calm down I’m not saying that they are pushing up their breasts or slipping us their phone numbers, but in a sense by following through with all the above they are flirting with customers. They use their abilities to entice us into a bed filled with delicious food, wonderful ambiance, and even the respect of a call the next morning….in the form of a “thank you for coming and please visit us again”. All in all it is the perfect “friends with benefits” situation.

Its restaurants like these that make dining experiences amazing. To be honest its servers like the GOOD ones I mentioned that make the experience amazing. They are the beating heart of the food service industry. Without them not a lot gets done. Unfortunately for us, some of them act like they know they are the best. That’s why we occasionally get the snobby ones that can’t be bothered to take an order and get it to their table with a smile and a thank you. Like I said and will continue to stand on my soap box and yell, kindness will get you the world. People are generally easy but if you start things off bad…you’re going to have a bad experience. That goes both ways with servers and customers alike. I tend to be nice to my servers, because I don’t want spit in my food (yeah I saw Waiting, great movie) plus 9 times out of 10 if you are good to them they will be good to you and remember you the next time. That’s how you can either form a great sense of regularity at a restaurant where the establishment will treat you wonderfully, sometimes with extra benefits, or an experience that will cause the employees to pube up your food! So I will extend this warning to both customers and employees….CHOOSE HOW YOU ACT WISELY YOUR FUTURE MEALS DEPEND ON IT!!!!

Well everyone thanks again for your time today, and thank you for listening to me rant about my restaurant annoyances. I hope that you all have great restaurant experiences. Until we meet again I will leave you with this….. PLEASE DON'T SPIT IN MY FOOD!!!

-Editor & Chief of The Penguin Gazette,

Rudy

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